Sunday, August 21, 2011

Stream of Consciousness Sunday - The Pieces That Make Us Whole

Here it is a few minutes before midnight & the house is now peaceful. Just a little while ago, I woke up from watching preseason Minnesota Vikings football to a screaming Munchkin tearing down the hallway into our bedroom wanting to be comforted & held after waking up from a nightmare.  It all comes clear in moments like that what my role is as a mother - to protect & nurture that child so that he will grow into a confident & strong young adult.

"It is our choices that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities."
- J.K. Rowling

It's Week 7 of my Stream of Consciousness Sunday posts and this is one of those self-revealing posts I'm never sure I really want to write. But here it goes. I've been thinking more about positive energy, flow & focus.  So often we stay stuck in our routines when what we really want is to actively move toward some bigger goals for our careers & life in general.

"Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself." 
- George Bernard Shaw

Time is flying by and before I know it another month is coming to an end & I've caught myself simply existing - treading water in a way, when what I really feel the need to do is swim forward. 

"It always seems impossible until it's done." - Nelson Mandela

This recession has left many of us in a mode of survival, altering our once very confident & secure identities. For me, after the layoff, the first hurdle was finding "a" job. The next hurdle is the transition to finding "the perfect job for me". I have been craving change, exponential personal & career growth.  I'm taking steps, slowly checking a few bullets off of my list, but still don't yet see how the broken pieces will all fit together to create the big picture & make me whole again. 

Just because you commit to something, it doesn't mean all the answers will suddenly be revealed. It often times takes more research, digging deeper to narrow your options. It's time for me to stop wishing & to find the strength & time to do more doing.  Being a nurturing, protective Momma is not the end all be all for me.  I need & want to be a whole individual person again & finding that way forward rests squarely on my shoulders.

This was my 5 minute Stream of Consciousness Sunday post. It’s five minutes of your time and a brain dump. Want to try it? Here are the rules…

Set a timer and write for 5 minutes only.

§         Write an intro to the post if you want but don’t edit the post. No proofreading or spellchecking. This is writing in the raw.

§         Publish it somewhere. Anywhere. The back door to your blog if you want. But make it accessible.

§         Add the Stream of Consciousness Sunday badge to your post.

§         Link up your post at all.things.fadra

§         Visit your fellow bloggers and show some love.

If you liked this post, you might also enjoy: Stream of Consciousness Sunday - Motherhood in the Forties or Stream of Consciousness Sunday - Mom Power

13 comments:

From Tracie said...

I'm loving that George Bernard Shaw quote. I've never read it before, and now it is making me think.

Good stuff.

I've been doing more of that "simply existing" than I care to admit. It is not a fulfilling way to live.

here's to swimming forward!

Good Girl Gone Green said...

Good luck on your job hunting! I wish you lots of success! :)

Rose's Daughter said...

I understand. I've got a lot going on in my life right now, and instead of confronting it head on, I find myself just "treading water". Just getting by. But I've promised myself that it's time to get a hold of myself and get to it!
Good luck on job hunting!!!!

Hear from SOC

Rachel said...

Loving the quotes!

I also feel all Momma Bear when one of my boys wake up at night. Going in a giving them a snuggle in the middle of the night is a great reminder of who we are to them.

Visiting from SOC

MAMA BRANDI said...

Totally feel you on this! I mean, it's so awesome being a caregiver, but we still have to be ourselves. It's been over 2 years, and I'm still coming back to myself. Good luck to you!

Shrine Readers said...

Your post is such reality. Balancing being a mom, enjoying simple pleasures and career/job. Good luck with the job search or the "job you will enjoy" search. Found you through SOCS!

mjdresselbooks said...

I love most quotes by George Bernard Shaw. I enjoyed the ones you have here. Being able to comfort our children whether they're young or old, is one of the best feelings in the world. Best of luck to you in your job search, and your yearning for change. Change can be difficult, but not impossible.

Crystal at Phases Of Me said...

I'm struggling to reenter the work world too, so I can relate. Good luck finding "the job" that offers you all you need!

Melissa @ Filling Our Bucket said...

It is hard, isn't it, to find that balance, to not be stuck in one spot. I'm doing the same. I have a job that I used to enjoy, but since coming back from maternity leave, since starting to blog a lot more, it's kind of left me empty. The field itself is a passion of mine, but my job...I'm just stuck. It's tough. I totally understand.

visiting from SOCS.

Diva (in Demand) said...

WOW....I think so many people get caught up in just treading water and never even realize it. I definitely understand. Good luck with your job search!

Julie Jordan Scott said...

I am feeling you.. and I love the heartful way you write. Lots of love... and grateful you at least got to enjoy the game.

Best wishes with the job search. I don't envy you. I do believe in you.

Monika said...

I'm loving that these simple thoughts hit home for so many of you. Makes me more confident in opening myself up & sharing pieces like this because I know it wasn't all about me feeling stuck - that many of us experience the same challenges. Thanks for stopping by each & every one of you : )

all.things.fadra said...

I just love reading your posts (even though I'm late in commenting). Some of my favorite mommy moments are when I know I can be the calm in a storm.

By the way, don't discount treading water. One of my favorite lines comes from a James Taylor song "The Secret O' Life":

The secret of life is enjoying the passage of time.