Friday, August 26, 2011

The Stranger


The day drags on.

She painfully waits in anticipation.

As she walks though the door,

a voice screams "Momma!"

A gentle calm rushes over her.


http://writeonedge.com/red-writing-hood/
So I'm trying something new:
writing with a prompt from Red Writing Hood - a writing meme.
This week’s assignment was simple: 
Write a story of your choice. 
The catch? 
Write it as a tweet. 
Use only 140 characters – including spaces. 
And no, the title didn'tcount.

So, what would your story be?

31 comments:

Alison said...

I love this. It brought a tear to my eye. Being a mommy is such an incredible thing.

dosweatthesmallstuff said...

I know this feeling... but I doubt I could put it as beautifully as you did here.

Isn't that little voice calling out "Momma!" a piece of Heaven on Earth? :)

Nancy C said...

My oldest started kindergarten this week. The quiet has been suffocating. Yes, I breath easier when I hear that voice. Nicely done!

Jenna said...

so well illustrated! really feel the longing and then relief.

Galit Breen said...

Girlfriend? You rocked it! Love it!

Dana said...

Very nice! I felt the tension and the peace.

Victoria KP said...

Loved this deep in my mommy heart!

Ratz said...

I can picture this and it is beautiful.

Katie @ Chicken Noodle Gravy said...

Big ol' fat AWWWW for this one! So sweet...makes me want to be a mommy; almost :) Great job!

Visiting and following from WOE.

The Lovely One said...

Ooh, but why is the title the stranger? Is she not really the mom? Are they mother and child meeting fort he first time after being separated? Intrigued!

Random Girl said...

sometimes that all it takes to make all right with the world again.

caitlinsconcepts said...

Awww, I remember these days of being calmed by the children after a long day..

I AM curious about the title though!!

Monika said...

Sometimes things are more complex than they seem. I love that this made some of you more curious.

JDaniel4's Mom said...

This is perfect for the start of school.

MrsJenB said...

Gasp! Here I was, thinking I knew what it was all about, seeing it in my head, feeling certain. And then I saw the comment about the title of this. And whoa. Hidden depths. And a brilliant way to keep us thinking w/o going over the character limit. Smart!!!

Paulette said...

It's so simple and complex and beautiful all at once.

Cheryl said...

aww..i remember those working days, counting the minutes til i could get home..

Semper Fi Momma said...

This completely pulls at a momma's heartstrings. I love it.

Julie Moore said...

I noticed you entitled it The Stranger. This gives this tweet a little more depth doesn't it? I'd like to know more if you're willing to share

contradistinctive said...

this made me happy :) I have babies and I adore coming home to find them happy and safe!

frommywriteside said...

I like this story. I remember feeling so good when I came home and little arms were reaching for me because they missed me.

Karen said...

Aww, you nailed this! :>

Melanie said...

So so sweet. You captured that "coming home" feeling well.

Yippy Momma said...

Nice job! Being a mom... we always feel that anticipation when we're away from our children. And welcome to the writing circle.

angela said...

The tweet tugs at my heartstrings, because that's how I felt when I worked and came home to my girl.

The title intrigues me.

Nice combination :)

Leighannn said...

I have days like these.
Well done, so easy to relate.

letmestartbysaying said...

I got a couple different ideas from this, and both of them naturally flowed from your piece. Which means this was great storytelling!

Kristy said...

I really love this one! So relatable. And precious!

Erin said...

Ohhh this is exactly how I feel at the end of the day. Great job!

Andrea (ace1028) said...

Just reading this tonight and wanted to say that I really enjoyed it. So special. :)

Dumb Mom said...

Tough prompt. Good story though! thanks for popping over and sharing with me this week. Reminded me that I too want to try the REd Writing Hood thing soon!