Wednesday, September 28, 2011


Re-blogged from - From Melsha Unplugged on Tumblr

I am having a moment.  One of those situations where you are lost and unsure of what needs to happen next and whether you need to be in the middle of it.  I am a caretaker at heart.  It kills me to see anyone hurting… in distress… at the end of their rope with no where to turn and no hope left.

Imagine how you would feel if you had carefully stacked a long line of dominoes up and then someone jokingly bumps into you causing the dominoes to begin to fall one by one. The only problem is you no longer have the means to stand them back up again…you need help and no one is either willing or able to help you.

What if those dominoes represented your job, your car, your home, your electricity, your heat, your internet access & your food budget or lack there of. How long could you do without any of those things?

I’m torn - I am not wealthy - but I am better off than the one who needs help stacking the dominoes again.  Do I overextend myself to help or do I be honest & say I wish I had the means, but I don’t.

It feels wrong to turn my back, so wrong it hurts. Like I should be going to confession to say I didn’t do what I know I should be doing to help a soul, on the ropes, in deep trouble. But then again will it be enough to only pick up one domino when I can’t control all the others? Will it make a difference.  What would you do?


Kakie said...

Great Post Monika. It's always a challenge to balance reaching out to someone who needs guidance and taking care of our own lives without getting derailed. Life and family keeps us busy. We can keep it healthy by sharing resources and setting boundaries that indicate what support or helping that person might look like.

I had a similar situation recently and as I contemplated how to respond to your post I realized it is easy for me to identify with and admire people who are passionate about what they do.

It's hard to watch when they get in their own way as a result of how much they care because for those of us who have been there, we would like to help.

Unfortunately, just because we throw someone a life line does not mean they will reach out and grab the rope. They might not be emotionally ready or intelligent enough to hear what we have to say or they might not be paying attention.

What I did: I shared concern about what I observed and told the person I would like to talk more about it and that if he/she were open to the idea to let me know. It was my way of picking up one of the dominoes and hoping he/she would recognize it as an offer - from me - to share my wisdom and GIFT of mentor-ship. So far I have not heard back

If it was me, I would want to know so I could grow from it and figure out what I am supposed to learn. Sometimes it is not about turning your back on something, but rather taking care of yourself.

Monika said...

Kakie, thanks for offering your experience & your advice. It's a growing issue that I think people should be having conversations about more often. So many of us have had these feelings & know probably more than one person who has been in a similar severe hardship situation.