It's been a day, one where energy was high in anticipation of a successful outcome. Remember about a month ago I wrote a post about a big milestone coming for Munchkin? It was time for his Kindergarten assessment & I just knew that my child who is "a perfect student", "a joy to have" in his teacher's class, who is so eager to be a Kindergartener & who asks to do "homework" in the evenings would have no issues with a silly little assessment.
Yes, well that day didn't go so well. I wrote a post then too. So we said whatever, that was a fluke & promptly reschedule for today - different day of the week, different time of day - no problem, right?! Wrong. Two strikes. Unfortunately, today did not go well either.
I had contacted someone from the district about suggestions to smooth this over for Munchkin, unfortunately she didn't return my call until 2 days ago - which gave us no time to constructively work on some solutions for this
anxiety initial distrust for new people when in new situations.
Once the assessor decided to "call the game", she said perhaps we attempted this too quickly, that Munchkin needed time to forget the negative experience from the prior visit & a month wasn't long enough to heal the scars.
(Scars, so my kid has scars now too - lovely.) She also suggested to me that Type A children can sometimes have a fear of not doing some things perfectly. They don't want to be disappointed, so they do nothing instead. They reassured me that the end of May would be a good time to try for hopefully the last time. Many parents think the assessment has to be done by Kindergarten class registration, but we theoretically have up until the start of school in the fall.
As a parent, this has been hands down the most difficult thing to deal with - feeling like a failure & not knowing what to do to make things easier for my child. We have golf lessons starting in a few weeks. Swimming & T-ball are on deck. Will a few more months of maturity really help make a difference?!
Once again I'm trying to hide my feelings of failure as a parent from my child, trying not to make him feel bad for being unsuccessful in his second attempt to "do it right" as he told his teacher the last time that he did not do.
On the ride home, I offered a Root Beer float for dessert, probably not the best thing to do, but Munchkin is a rail - a skinny minny - he can use a few extra calories on a special occasion. Munchkin wanted to go to Target. Right - that was a no ; ) Not a battle I wanted to wage. I was not in the mood for a tantrum over NOT getting a new toy on this particular day.
I don't have the answer & praying earlier today didn't help, but all I can do is trust that things will work out in their own time. I should know by now that being Catholic doesn't mean God grants wishes on demand - Father Curt would second that if he knew. As a Type A Mom with a seemingly Type A child, this should all be so easy - except for the 1/2 Type B Munchkin gets from his father. No matter how much I want to see myself in my child at his age, it's not there. He is his own person, carving his own path, with his own distinct personality.
All I can do is have more patience and take things one day at a time. That is about all I know for sure. And now I'm off to make that Root Beer float I promised.
If you enjoyed this story, you might also like:Stream of Consciousness Sunday - Through the Eyes of My Child or Stream of Consciousness Sunday - The Pieces That Make Us Whole